Headaches

France's patron Saint Denis was beheaded on Martyrs' Hill - Montmartre. Being a saint, he then picked up his head and walked for two miles, preaching a sermon all the way. Some vicars just don't know when to stop. Denis' headless walk posed a problem for medieval artists: where to put the halo? Some had Denis carry his halo in his free hand, while others put the halo where his head used to be. Neither solution looked very dignified. After the Black Death in 1348, the church set up The Fourteen Holy Helpers, a spiritual A-Team for times of plague. Each saint could be appealed to for a different ailment. Appropriately, or in rather poor taste, depending on your point of view, Denis got 'headaches.'

The Basilica of Saint Denis was founded on the spot where Denis finally shut up and dropped down dead. It became the burial site of almost all the French monarchs, including Pippin the Fearsome, Charles the Bald, Louis VII and Catherine de Medici. During the Revolution, all the royal tombs were opened and the bones were thrown higgledy-piggledy (no, I don't know what the French is for 'higgledy-piggledy') into a nearby pit. In 1815, (the Napoloeon thing didn't work out,) France decided to be a monarchy again and the poor kings (and queens) were dug up again. However, due to the higgledy-piggledy nature of their second burial, the bones couldn't be identified.

The new king Louis XVIII was anxious not to create a Pippin VII or a Catherine the Bald, for fear it would bring the Monarchy into disrepute, so it was decided to re-bury all the remains, still higgledy-piggledy in the St Denis Basilica. They're still there today, still mixed-up, and finally enjoying some P & Q. By the way, I've just found higgledy-piggledy and, disappointingly, it's pêle-mêle. No poetry, the French.

La Résidence - THE French Property People