Saints and helicopters in Lower Normandy

In more recent times, Lower Normandy has produced a saint and a helicopter pioneer. St. Thérèse of Lisieux was born in Alençon, and is the patron saint of florists, tuberculosis, Cheyenne (Wyoming) and aviators. The connection is obvious.

Talking of aviators, Paul Cornu, also of Lisieux, achieved the first manned helicopter flight in 1907. As the pilot, crew and only passenger of his pioneering craft, Paul had to do all the flight announcements himself: "In the event of an emergency landing, the exits are located here, here, here, here and here. Everywhere, in fact. We will be flying at an altitude of 30cm and arriving at our destination of that gorse bush just over there in approximately 20 seconds."

La Résidence - THE French Property People

Sex and violence in 11th century Normandy

Mystery surrounds one tableau of the Bayeux Embroidery, in which a priest is seen slapping a lady called Ælfgifu, while two naked men crouch nearby, one of thm shamelessly displaying his meat-and-two-veg. One theory is that the scene may depict a well-known celebrity sex scandal of the day. If this is so, it suggests that prurient, invasive journalism was already rife in the eleventh century, though unlike today's paparazzi, the Bayeux needleworkers would have had to embroider really quickly to be sure of getting a scoop.

A Victorian reproduction of the Bayeux Embroidery hangs in Reading Museum, and is accurate in every detail, except that they gave meat-and-two-veg man some pants. The Victorians weren't great turnip-eaters. Even more mystery surrounds the Embroidery's missing panels. Apparently, two sequels were planned, provisionally entitled The Bayeux Supremacy and The Bayeux Ultimatum.

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La chanson française avec La Résidence - 1: Jacques Brel -Madeleine

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Willy, Tilly and the Bayeux embroidery

Willy and Tilly co-star in the Bayeux Embroidery (yeah, you needle-workers, I've done my research.) In the world's first embroidered comic-strip, Norman-Man does battle with evil mastermind Harold Godwinson. You can tell the good guys from the bad guys because the Saxons all have droopy moustaches, while the Normans shaved the back of their heads. Mmm sexy.

How Harold actually met his end is the subject of some debate. The Latin text "Ladies and gentlemen, we got him!" appears over three mortally-wounded Saxons: one (as you know) with an arrow in his eye, one with a spear through his chest, and one with his legs chopped off. One modern theory is that they're all Harold, which suggests that the Norman army was nothing if not thorough.

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Auntumn leaves...

Yves Montand - Les Feuilles Mortes (1951)

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Willy's left leg

Willy (the Conqueror) and Tilly (Queen Matilda) were cousins, and the Pope was not at all happy about their normal-for-Norfolk union. Will soon smoothed matters over by building the Pope the Abbey of Saint Étienne at Caen. Everyone has a price, even the Pope.

Will was buried at Saint Étienne, but his bones were scattered twice, once during the Wars of Religion and again, just for good measure, during the Revolution (see our Ile-de-France blog). Despite all this upheaval, the Abbey custodians are pretty sure they still have his left leg.


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William the Bastard

Lower Normandy is France's leading producer of turnips, and breeds more horses than any other region. They must like the turnips. The region also leads in the production of butter, apples, leeks and flax, but has yet to combine these into a successful regional dish.

William the Conqueror, Duke of Normandy and was also known as William the Bastard. William's dad was Robert the Magnificent, so Will's nickname must have come as a disappointment to him. Will's missus, Matilda, was only 4'2" tall and in 1066 she became England's smallest Queen. Matilda was famous for her long pig-tails. (Though, Matilda being vertically-challenged, they may in fact have been normal-length pig-tails). Legend has it, that Will courted Tilly by dragging her off her horse by her pig-tails. It must have been the turnips.

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